For want of a better title: My European Day

For want of a better title

Tall and Tan and oh so Sexy, the boy *not* from Ipanema goes walking by...

Saturday, April 16, 2005

My European Day

So I just got back from one of the craziest day of all. My European day. For all you fools out there who don't know what a European day is, it's my idea that those lazy bastards in Europe sit around and drink all day [hi mom. I'm not a drunkards](lies!).

My day started off at 11am when i woke and bought the scotch like I told all you vouyers last night. For those who haven't read it, where the F**K had you been BIATCH! Damn you for not following my every word (ed: the author really loves all of you) (lies!). Then at 1 I went to the boathouse to get lunch and drink some beer while i prepared for my conference tomorrow. I actually got work done in case you doubting thomases out there don't think I could get work done. I had Schlafly Hefeizen for lunch , 2 actually and then I I had a pizza and some nachos. Oh yeah baby it was a good lunch. Then at 3 I trudged down to my fav wine place, Brennan's, and had myself a bottle of wine. Guess who I met, my ex-girlfriend's neighbour [hi mom. cna't say i didn't try]. So I had to be polite invite them to have some wine and just sat down and talk. It was all humdrum and good. Wish the biatch would sleep with me, heh... but then that would stir up a whole different kettle of fish or wasps or whatever really sucks (use your f**king imagination ok!).

Then at like 5pm my friends from the other university came to hang out, we ate crackers, proscuito (good ham for you uncivilised whores) and gouda (cheese for you non-diary sluts). And more wine. Then more beer, then more wine. Heh... You get the f**king picture. Anyway these really hot older women came by and sat across me so for like 3 hours I was oogling them and their hot friends who kept coming by to sit down. I'd do them in a heartbeat if they weren't wearing those wedding rings. Lousy little biatches (ed: he really doesn't mean that). Anyway...

Then we went to may fav cigar bar and met up with my fav bartender who was going to be a cop. Yeah you should've read about this before you little cunts. If not go read it now or fac me wrath (ed: he really loves you, honest). We even exchanged phone numbers... I mean this girl is hot... like real hot and I'd do her in a heart beat but I might get arrested [hi mom. I've kept a clean slate so far]. Anyway I drank a port while i was there... oh those bastard portugese only good for port and footballers (ed: he really doesn't think that)(oh yes i do!).

Anyway I got to go to be in my uber-chic bed in my uber-modern burrow. Have a freaking good night you lifeless folks and I'll fill you in on my extremely boring life later (ed:he actually has a sex filled life) (lies!). I'll leave you with some words of the wise like I always: "The darkness of your beer on any given day should conform to the darkness of the sky at the standard quitting time of 6pm."

Alkihell count:
4 pints of beer
1 glass of wine
2 bottles of wine by myself
1 glass of port
1 glass of single malt scotch


Post a Comment

<< Home