For want of a better title: An unexamined life

For want of a better title

Tall and Tan and oh so Sexy, the boy *not* from Ipanema goes walking by...

Monday, July 04, 2005

An unexamined life

Well everytime I meet a new blogger I get a question about if I'm the only person blogging and who ed and ture/lie are. I know I explained it as a literary device but it's more than that. (ed: indeed) I'm not schizo. It's more like a dissection of me, as a person.

Ed here is the voice of reason. The reasonable part. Caution. Safety. Security. Absolutely dull but absolutely trustworthy (ed: not sure if I should feel praised or insulted) That's a side of me. The side that puts calculated in calculated risk. Dour, sedated and very normal.

true/lie is conscience I suppose. Sometimes I say things and it may be a lie (true!). Human relations requires that we lie to maintain certain illusions. We all do it all the time. true/lie is the part of me that is sick of such lies. My conscience. The thing that pricks you when you know you are not doing what is right. (look i don't care if you have a moral compass, I do)

You know Plato indicated that an unexamined life is not worth living and I do examine my life daily. I always take some time out to take a look at it. I see it and I like what I see. I see areas that need to be fixed and areas that I should keep in the face of the world. I'm an idealist in the end. But I can be a pragmatic idealist. There are somethings I will give up but there are others that I won't (ed: that's telling them) (true!)

It's nice that this little pink blog has fans and haters. You don't have to like me and you don't have to hate me either. This is who I am. Deep down inside this is me. Why pink? Because I dislike the colour intensely. So why not. All that pink is, is a colour.

Today a friend, who I was having dinner and drinks with, was telling me that a guy, whom she had gotten to know recently, told her he loved her. Despite the fact that he had no intention of leaving his girlfriend. Jeez... Men do suck indeed. I will admit it. Sometimes I catch myself doing shit like that too but ed is there to rein me in (ed: yay! final credit!). How much more dishonourable can this world be. Hedging your bets, sir? Puh-leeeese...

Here's my two cents, any man who tells a woman he loves her, must act upon those words. He cannot hope to be fishing for a favourable reply. It's all or nothing. Either we put our money where our mouth is, or we not bother trying. This smells of bullshit. Why am I so angry? I don't quite know. Maybe it's because there are some very ugly parts of humanity that I hate with a vengence. And i mean hate.

This leads to the perennial question of is man born good or bad? Confucius thought Man was born good and Mencius thought Man was born bad. I'm not a philosopher and I cannot come to an answer for that. I believe Man is born good, with a conscience. But over time we can overcome that inherent goodness. In time bad acts can become habit. An old friend once told me that our sense of morality is like a triangle in our heart. It pokes us everytime we do something that is ethically wrong. But we can ignore it and over time the poor triangle will wear out its sides and in the end it'll become smooth all around, a circle. And so it will poke no more. What state is your triangle in?

I lie. I will not deny that (true!). But my life is not one built on lies. I cannot live a life built upon lies. In my life I value honour above all else. A man is only as good as his word. If my word carries no weight, then I am worthless. I'm glad that my promises still have currency amongst friends.

So this is my examined life. At least so far. I like what I see. I know the places i must fix and I must come face to face with the things i refuse to see. I also see areas which I must preserve, upkeep and make new again. Life the never ending project...

3 Comments:

  • At 7/03/2005 10:42 PM, Anonymous FF said…

    I would be angry too if a man told me that. ;) Guys suck.

    This used to be my old template, but mine was blue.

     
  • At 7/04/2005 7:26 AM, Blogger Jaschocolate said…

    haha.. i also used this template before..

    At least now i dont need to ask you about ed and all, if we ever meet.. hee

    And all that inherent goodness thingy reminded me of a module that i took before.. haha

     
  • At 7/04/2005 10:51 PM, Anonymous HellsBel said…

    I've learnt not to be quick to judge. It's terribly hard but I try. Because no matter what, one day, you'll find yourself, inevitably (or maybe not you), in a "I would never" situation. The never suddenly became the present.

    In today's fast paced world, where we are perpetually looking for something better or someone who fits better. In my opinion, there isn't one person who will complete you - hence you need to choose your lover and the others - keep as friends. (when I say you, i mean me :P)

     

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